"Who Needs Who?" by Tasha Houlihan

Almost one year ago, my husband and I moved into Binghampton. We had spent several months preparing for the move from Missouri and even longer deciding whether we should move to the inner city of Memphis. We graduated from college and four days later we were on the road, toting everything we owned behind us in a giant U-Haul. Not only did we carry with us all of our material possessions, we also carried in our hearts and minds many ideas about what the inner city life and serving the poor would look like.

We came to Memphis because God had led us to turn away from what many of our graduating friends were pursuing: great jobs, nice apartments, and well-situated suburban families. We had decided to start our post-college life pursuing and serving God, and in order to do that, we were going to serve the poor of Memphis. I planned to teach children who are consistently slighted by the education system while Steve would work with young men in the neighborhood, giving them important job and life skills. Not only would we have these serving, sacrificial jobs, but we were going to get to know our neighbors, love them, and share the love of Christ with them. It was going to be difficult, and maybe even scary, because after all, this was an inner city neighborhood.

Over the course of our time here, God has given us a much different picture of life here in the city. We thought Binghampton was a place full of two kinds of people: criminals and those who fell prey to their crime. We wanted to serve the innocents who were affected by the choices of a few and the injustice of our society. While these situations do exist, I no longer characterize our neighborhood this way. We have found it to be a place of greater community than I have ever seen in a picturesque suburban neighborhood. One can’t walk down our street without being greeted by several porch-sitters or kids playing in yards. Resources are slim, thus, neighbors and families must rely one another for support and news.

We came to serve our neighbors as if within ourselves we had so much to offer them. Without realizing this, we came with the attitude of would-be heroes. Surely these people needed us, and others like us. God has shown us our true place here and where the real need lies. Recently we have had some problems with small thefts on our street. Steve and I are not often home because of our jobs and internships, so our house is left empty most of the day. Every afternoon when I come home from school, our next door neighbor Rilla is out on her porch and Cal is on her porch across the street. They both wave, say hello, and perhaps make a comment about the weather or their yard work. I continue inside to put my things down. They seem to be insignificant interactions, but they have been the building blocks of great, interdependent relationships. Most days it’s just a hello exchanged between us, but occasionally Rilla will say, “The mailman left that package out for you…I’ve been watching it all day to make sure nobody run off with it.” Or she will fill us in on the activity of a few neighborhood boys who have been messing with a vacant home. She understands much better than I do the necessity of having good neighbors because she has lived here much longer. We have needed our neighbors to watch our mail, keep our house when we’re out of town, and now they’re helping us with landscaping and gardening.

We were wrong about what it would look like to live in this neighborhood and love our neighbors, but God has given us the opportunity to serve them in small ways. One evening we were sitting in our living room waiting for friends to come over when we heard a loud man’s voice. We have only one male neighbor, and he is far from loud, so we took interest in what might be going on. The night was dark and standing on Rilla’s porch was a man talking to her through her screen door. In our neighborhood, it is not unusual for people to prey on the elderly and uneducated for their money, so Steve went over to try to help. The man was trying to sell her some kind of phone service and wouldn’t leave despite her explanations that she wouldn’t open the door after dark. After Steve came over, the situation was quickly settled and the man left her alone.

We have come to this neighborhood expecting to serve, and we have done that, but even more than this, we have been served. I am humbled when I think about all of the things our neighbors have done for us and the great sense of community they have between each other. I believe this is the way God desires it for everyone. We have needed our neighbors as much, or even more, than they have needed us. It is not for one group to come in and do the ‘serving’, as if we had so much to offer others that they don’t already possess, but it is a series of interdependent relationships in which we must rely on and care for one another.

May 2007