"Time in the Inner City" by Kyle Story

My time living and working in the inner city has been a tremendous blessing. While I have gained so much by being in this environment, the larger lessons that I will take away from this time have not so much to do with where I was for this year, but where I came from. I would say that living in this community has taught me more about contemporary American Christian culture and myself than it has taught me about the inner city. I do not wish to present myself as being anything greater than a sinner, and I hope I do not presume too much, but I think my general impressions of the neighborhood going into this year were largely correct. The inner city is an incredibly broken place. There is significant hurt here. It stems solely from sin. Homes are broken, torn apart by drugs, alcohol, violence, and lust. Yet, despite all the negativity that exists here, I knew that there was hope. Christ was already here. No intentional neighbor or missionary brought Christ into Binghampton. There is hope here. There is an incredible community here, striving to glorify God by being good neighbors, helping the poor and marginalized, and telling others about the work that is to be done. I was excited to be a part of what was going on here.

What I did not expect though, was how God would use my time in the inner city to teach me about the culture from where I had come from, the suburbs. Being taken out of the suburbs and out of a culture where American cultural Christianity is prevalent has afforded me the opportunity to reflect on what it means to be a Christian in affluent places. Numerous books that we have read talked about the way the inner city is viewed. If the inner city is broken, sinful places then we presuppose that affluent areas are not broken, do not need to be fixed, and not in dire need of God’s redeeming love.

This year has been a time when God has really made the sins of pride and selfishness obvious to me. I have had the opportunity to go to several different large churches to speak about the work that SOS does and represent this ministry at mission fairs. These churches have all been extremely affluent, huge and are filled with decent people. These churches are by most standards good churches. They are involved with various ministries locally, nationally, and internationally. But these churches also represent American cultural Christianity to me. The whole time I’m at these places I cannot seem to shake the impression that missions and service are perceived as part time activities. Serving others has a start time and a stop time. You go to volunteer at this place for “x” number of hours. You give “x” number of dollars. But there is always a limit placed on service. The time to serve always ends, and when you serve for the “x” amount of hours you can go home. Once you have given your “x” amount of dollars you have contributed enough. I have not once heard the call to daily pick up one’s cross and die to one’s self clearly issued. I guess this call has been mentioned, but never has the true weight of this call been clearly communicated. It is a heavy statement. It has been sad to see how incredibly selfish by nature we really are. We want God to be part of our life, but not the whole thing, and then we want to feel good because we have the sense and decency to allow God that small portion of ourselves that we have allotted him. Even the motive to serve has been perverted. We do not love others because we were first loved by God, but because it makes us feel good. When we give it is perhaps out of a sense of pity, as if we are in a superior position because we are not poor, tired, and dirty. I do not know why I think like this in these church settings. But the brokenness of the “righteous” really seems apparent to me. It really seems to me that the affluent American Christian has truly separated himself from his less fortunate brother, and truly believes that he has gained what he has gained because he is somehow better. The only people really served by these huge affluent churches are the people that go there, not the people they claim to desire to help.

I really believe that the reason I see the sin in the affluent Church so clearly is because being in the wealthy contemporary American Christian Church has forced me to recognize that what I see as their sin also my own sin. I know that being here has made me prideful; as if I really have anything to offer that the Lord himself has not given me. It has shown me that I’m incredibly selfish. There are times when I don’t want to be the neighbor that Christ calls me to be because it demands time that could be spent on myself. Every sin I see in the affluent church is sin that I also I wrestle with. I think it took God bringing me outside my old environment to see this truth. It has made me realize how sinful I, the “missionary to the inner city,” really am. I am really challenged to evaluate my motive for being here. Do I really desire to serve others or to serve myself?

I suppose the best way to describe my time here thus far is humbling. It is humbling to be a part of the work that the Lord is doing here. It’s humbling to see my sin so clearly in the places I visit. It is humbling to think that God would allow a broken sinner like myself to see his own sin. It is also kind of funny to think that God used this time to teach me more about places where I currently do not even live.

December, 2008