"Community from the Perspective of an Isolationist" by Emily Howell

On the street behind ours live two young girls, sisters, who attend the neighborhood girls club. They are both a little older and tend to be quiet (at least compared to the other girls). When girls club began in August and they found out that we were close neighbors, they would be waiting with their bicycles at the end of the street to follow my car home. We would then have a little conversation in the driveway about school or girls club and I would politely say that I needed to get inside. It did not take long for them to stop waiting for me and stop coming by the house.

You see, I live like an isolationist in a group-oriented community. I value my time, my food, my swing, my clothes, my sleep, my job, and my commitments above the relationships physically surrounding me. These girls were teaching me how to neighbor (as a verb), and I was showing them how to selfishly take care of my personal business without care for neighbors. Since then, I have realized that there is much to learn from these sisters, as well as a few lessons to learn from other neighbors.

Last weekend, my Hispanic neighbors hosted a bash of a birthday party. There were a few things I picked up on throughout the day. First, everyone was involved. Men were moving chairs, children swept the porch, and women blew up balloons and made other colorful decorations. It took a full community effort for adequate preparation. Second, they held the party on the front porch. Where my natural inclination would have certainly been to host a gathering in the controlled environment of my living room, the neighbors willingly shared the joy of their party with everyone who passed by. They were vulnerable to the neighborhood and I know what was going on in their lives because they made their lives available to the community. Third, they dressed up. Everyone had on his or her best to celebrate the occasion. I am often tempted to just adapt my dress to my environment, and not to what my environment should be. For instance, I wear professional clothing to work, but feel comfortable in outdated, ill-matched clothing at home. This is not to say that my clothing matters, but it can be an indicator of the heart. If I want to show the neighborhood that I care about them, I need to dress in such a way that says I have a hope to celebrate and they are worth the effort.

I have also learned the value of honest conversation. One day in passing an elderly lady flagged me down an asked me if I knew of anyone who might want to buy a DVD player. She had an appointment the next day and knew she was going to need to fill a prescription, but did not have the cash or credit. This woman could have asked me for money, she could have petitioned me to buy her probably broken DVD player, but instead she just put it out there that she had something of value that someone else might need. I told her I would keep my ears open and went on my way. This woman knew the value of dignity. She knew the value of my dignity when she did not ask for a pay out in the form of straight cash. She knew the value of her own dignity when she followed the rules of supply and demand and made her offer to society. I doubt that she received money for her DVD player that day, but she did retain some honor and taught me how to have honest conversation.

As spring is beginning to show us that it is here to stay, people in the neighborhood are coming back to their porches and evening neighborhood walks. They are a little more willing to try speaking up and are still willing to make new friends. It has been almost eight months since the sisters followed me home from work and talked to me about my day. In that time I have learned many lessons, the most pronounced being that time and location are gifts for which we have the honor of being responsible. Proverbs 6:6-11 teaches us about the ant, who “without having any chief, officer, or ruler, she prepares her bread in summer and gathers her food in harvest.” I hope that in the same way I can be trusted to use my time in community for the utmost glory and honor to God.

April, 2009